Misadventures (Dungeon Crawler/Fantasy)

[Lessien]

It was mid afternoon in the little town of Wickershire and many of the local townsfolk had called the day early due to the public holiday in the capital city Zodia. As a result many shops were closed, the fields were mostly empty except for a few disciplined souls and the tavern was packed. Men, young and old, spread across the place, a few women accompanying their boyfriends, husbands or otherwise working. The Legless Minstrel was a sizeable tavern, doubling as an inn for the town with the rooms above for rent while below there was a sizeable number of tables, a kitchen for food, a long bar with many drinks stocked on the wall behind and even a small stage down one end. Tom the barman was serving drinks and chatting with each patron as they came up to him, meaning young Alistair was doing the brunt of the work refilling pint after pint to meet the demand.

Up on the stage three men who’d been hitting the beer a little harder than many of their friends had found the courage to start singing and were stamping their feet in a tune while a young boy played a flute accompaniment.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZzHqXzcuWuE

Beer beer beer, tiddly beer beer beer.
A long time ago, way back in history,
when all there was to drink was nothin but cups of tea.
Along came a man by the name of Charlie Mops,
and he invented a wonderful drink and he made it out of hops.

He must have been an admiral a sultan or a king,
and to his praises we shall always sing.
Look what he has done for us he's filled us up with cheer!
Lord bless Charlie Mops, the man who invented beer beer beer
tiddly beer beer beer…


The trio of men and a good number of nearby townsfolk joined along as the song carried on and even as the verses got garbled and repeated and such they all came together for a cheerful chorus every time. Even Tom smirked and tapped his foot behind the bar as he served another man. The somewhat balding and portly barkeep/owner wiped his hands on his greasy apron after he handed over another pint, he had quite the packed house this afternoon, he noted. Not just the farmers and townsfolk but lots of travellers too. Wickershire was just a small town under the governance of Lord Jaghr in the province of Zodiark but it was quite the crossroads for a few large provinces and as such saw more foot traffic then a town of it’s size would suggest.

Over at the tables Sam had taken one for himself, an old man in a brown patched cotton shirt with grey hair and a straggely beard. He was playing cards with a small group of folks, betting small bronze coins more for fun than to try and make a dollar.

Back over on the stage the trio of drunks were still singing.

(Feel free to either arrive at the inn or already be set up in the tavern somewhere.)

[Geno XIII]

The door to the tavern was awkwardly pushed open by a figure using their tiny foot to push it open. Whoever they were, they were hidden by a very large map the figure was buried into. But one thing was for sure, the figure was about the size of a child at around three feet tall. The figure finally revealed themselves to be what looked like either an elfen child that bloomed way too early or just a ginger elf that drank a shrinking potion by mistake and got her mass cut in half. She tried folding and rolling the map back up as she looked at the party before her... then sighed in disinterest with narrowed eyes under a pair of round clear lenses folded out from a pair of goggles resting on her prominent forehead.

Mumbling something about "liquid bread" in a disparaging tone, she flipped the lenses back into place before making her way to the bar and sitting down on a stool... then finding her chin barely passing the top, she dismounted and took a book out of one of her pouches to put on the stool, then sat on it. She probably wouldn't say anything until she was spoken to as she flipped down a lens again to help her read the menu.

[Lunakitty]

In a less well lit corner of hte tavern sat a petite figure in a baggy, nearly too big to fit tunic with her hood pulled up. While the oversized clothing covered most of the details of her figure, there was no mistaking the feminine curve of the young woman's back as she leaned back in her chair, balancing on the back legs of her chair, with only one boot tucked under the table to keep her there, the other foot swinging from the edge, not quite touching hte ground. It was quick, but every so often, as she scanned hte room, one could clearly see the twin reflection of her eyes inside the darkness of her hood, casting an extra eerieness about her.

As the men hit their chorus, the young woman would raise her mug, sloshing the brew around with a hearty cheer, and lean back again to watch them make happy fools of themselves. She was in high spirits too after scoring some recent funds to afford this little evening out.

[Silver]

An elderly man sat at a table nearer to the chorus in the center of the room. A closed book sat infront of him, the man long since having given up trying to write anything down, and instead just trying to enjoy the sensitivities as he drank from a large mug. Even with the problems plaguing him right now he was able to find at least some small reason for cheer.

He normally wouldn't have let himself get caught up in the festivities like this, not with what he still needed to do, but something about a song dedicated to beer that manged to get even his only bones moving along to it, a few verses mouthed as she went along. It was a good day he reckoned, stopping his singing after one particularly raunchy chorus so he could stroke his long beard. No reason to put down on the youngsters and they're merriment. Even he was that stupid once upon a time.... still wishes he could move like he could back then time to time. He would just have to look into those money problems after the holiday was done.

[Lessien]

The song carried on with now individual people jumping up and attempting to make a verse (followed by cheering or laughter) before everyone coming back together for the chorus. This allowed for some breif moments of quiet as someone slurred there way through a short rhyme. It was during one of the gaps that Tom spotted the tiny woman sitting on a book, which was on one of his bar stools. He paused for half a second to wipe the trace of a smirk off his face before coughing loudly. "What ya having littl' lady? We got pl'nty of beer as w'll as warm st'w and bread for thos' who can't wait for dinn'r." He asked, leaning on the counter. His moutache was big and had once been black but like his balding hair what remained of it was turning to grey. Still the round face held no malice as he greeted the halfing.

Meanwhile a young buxom woman with blonde locks framing her face sidled over to the old man with the closed book. "Another round love?" She asked with a smile. She was a pretty thing, no makeup like the ones in the city but had a natural healthy glow to her. The ample cleavage of her D cup breasts emphasized by her bodice didn't hurt either. She was holding a tray if drinks, and raised one up before the man, shaking it ever so slightly to show it was full.

In the dark corner the hooded girl would remain undisturbed and manage to keep the table to herself. Though she got plenty of curious glances from those near her, whether concern or curiosity drove them was tough to tell.

[Qwerts]

The door creaked as it was opened by a tall manly man wearing nothing except a fur loincloth, boots made of the same material. A two-handed sword was strapped to two leather straps, passing over one another both on front and on back of the man and connected to his belt. Two heavy iron bracelets adorned his forearms, while a war circlet was kept around his unkept black hairs. It wasn't really difficult to see he was one of the men of the north, one of the proud barbarians. He didn't seems interested in the crowd or the festivities, not even scanning the room. ... Or at least not looking like he did, it was hard to know with his squinted eyes. He directly went to the bar and sat on a stool. Stool which was either not made for his heavy weight, or had a structural problem, as, as soon as he sat on it, it broke, making him fall on his ass. The big man grunted as he hit the floor, before getting up and collect all the parts of the stool that he put directly on the bar. He then started to fiddle with it, trying to fix it. "Crom sorry. Crom fix." He grunted in an a apologetic tone, or well, as much as he could sound apolegetic anyway.

It was easy for whoever saw the incident, heard the man's way of talking and the fact that his trying to fix the piece of furniture, was turning the stool into something akin to a small, imperfect bookcase, that he wasn't the brightest candle around.

[Katt]

Suddenly with a loud bang the door slammed open, causing an assortment of the tavern patrons to look at one responsible. Standing there proudly was a golden haired man wearing a glistening piece of chest armor, an impressive claymore sword strapped to his back, and the bottom half of a tabard that almost looked like a kilt or even a skirt on him... though it did bear a few symbols of the main religion people worshiped in Zodia. His appearance and demeanor just couldn't help but give off an air of nobility and snobbishness. Without even a single apology, the man walked with an air of arrogance and nobility to the bartender with a cocky smile on his face before slamming his gloved hand down.

"Peasant!" he said with a commanding tone, "I demand a pint of your finest mead and a room for the night! No need to ask for money, the Lord from high above always rewards those who serve his disciples," he ordered, the truth of the matter was, Cooper had already spent all of his money some time ago... Without even waiting for a reply (after all who would deny an order from a man of God?) he tapped his hand on the counter. "Right, post haste, peasant," he said before turning around and looking at all of the other uncivilized patrons. His eyes glancing across the room for his next sexual conquest. He would need some company for the night. Hm.. perhaps that sexy blonde right over there serving drinks.

[BioYuGi]

"This minotaur was like, twenty feet high! I could barely reach it's ankles, you know? Hic, but, bam, I got him right in the weak spot, took him down in five blows. One for each leg, then another right in the head. Bam! Bam bam bam, bammity bam, I tell ya, went down like a little punk!" The high-pitched voice proclaiming such a feat was obviously inebriated. This was despite the fact that the green-haired Gazina was only holding a half-empty cup of booze, it was easily enough to get her a bit tipsy. The three-foot high gnome was standing on top of her stool so she could tell her story, but it was clear nobody really believed her.

"Then I ripped off its horns, hic, took it back to the village, and we had a party that lasted for six days! Now the fight didn't get me sore, hehehehe, but what I did with some of the young studs in that town sure did, woo! Some feisty, hic, fellas there, tell you what," Gazina said with a giggle. She drunkenly took another swig of her alcohol and put the drink on the bar, turning around to face the rest of the people in the establishment with her legs spread in a relaxing position.

[Mitsunami]

Having entered just behind the boisterous paladin, ducking under one of his widespread arms as if simply ignoring him, a pretty young woman entered, her robes marking her as being one of the servants of the divines herself. She lowered her hood as she sat down at a far end of the bar, shaking out her shining golden hair to its full length, just above her neck, and displaying the elfin points of her ears before she glanced up to young Alistair with a sweet smile.

"Just a bit short today, dear Alistair...perhaps a sweet boy like yourself could see to looking the other way as he pours a humble cleric a small glass of wine?" she asked, voice dripping with honey and leaning forward a bit so the bulge of her chest became more obvious against the flowing robe...while her other hand slipped up onto the bar to set up a small folding sign, its bright letters pointing towards the rest of the bar-

*Wounds need mending? Poisoned by a dungeon spider? Pure brute force just not cutting that guardian golem? Cleric for hire at large, reasonable rates, seeing to all your healing and power-up needs. Inquire with Bluebell.*

In reality, she had no need of a free drink, having enough on her to pay for the whole bottle of wine and then some...but why pay for it if she could charm the tavern lout into giving it away? Besides, she had more important things to worry about than the bar's business....like her own. Sounded like there were plenty of rowdy ones in today. Loud travelers meant adventure, and adventure meant they'd risk getting hurt...which would then require them to need a healer, and that was where the only cleric in this little speck of Zodia came in. She knew she'd made the right choice in not starting at one of the more popular temples, like the capital city, where most of her fellow graduates had vanished to. The real coin could always be made in desperate, backwater towns like this one.

[Silver]

Verdant grinned, watching the young woman bounce around in front of him. "Sure. Give me another one cutie. Best you got." He said smiling. His gaze moved down to look at her chest, how lovely they were, emphasized by that bodice. "Thank you dear." He remarked, grabbing the drink and lifting it up.

He was just about to take a drink when suddenly the door was slammed open. Floundering around a bit he juggled the drink, somehow managing to not spill a single drop despite the comedic display he put on. He took a deep breath, then looked over to watch the man who did it. Arrogant, proud, and annoying to a fault. Just like the.... no he wasn't the man who he owed money to. Small relief there. "Good good." He chuckled, finally getting back to his drink.

Lecherous old fool that he was, it wasn't much a surprise that his gaze traveled up to the bar, seeing the gnomeish girl who didn't seem to have the common sense to keep her legs together. Flashing the whole bar. "Good show." He said, raising a drink with a grin on his face.

[Geno XIII]

Jade cleared her throat after trying her best not to scowl at the 'little' remark, though she kept her usual neutral expression of a very slight frown with a sort of soft 'm' indentation to it that she got when she was nervous. She had to remember this wasn't a bustling city, though she at least hoped she wasn't mistaken for a child or something.

"I will ha- GAH~!" she made a very exaggerated flinch, nearly falling off of her stool as the large human slammed his fist down near her and demanded drink and room. Though it reminded her exactly why she was there. "I-I need, um" she cleared her throat and tried to sound more assertive "A stew and meat pie will do... with some milk." she muttered the last part out as she took note of the... more gifted taller girls around her with her wandering eyes.

[Lessien]

The old man playing cards and everyone at the table with him burst into laughter as Crom sat down on the chair. "Wha-? Dammit Sam I told you to fix that chair!" Yelled Tom, looking away from the woman he had been serving.

The old man got up, leaving his cards on the table, the young man sitting on his right instantly had a peek at the cards. Sam was still chuckling as he reached Crom, he was all skin and bone and only came up to the barbarian's armpits in height but the old man in the patched and faded clothes showed no fear. "Heeheehee. Sorry about that friend. I'm a carpenter by trade and that there is my latest creation. A disassembling chair, easy to break apart and move and reassemble where you like without the cumbersome nature of moving the whole bloody thing." He scratched his scraggly beard. "Problem is I can't quite get it to stay assembled once I put it back together. The joints aren't tight enough. Heeheehee. Just pass those parts to Tom the man behind the bar and I'll see if I can't put it back together better tomorrow. I can't be bothered to try today. It's a holiday and all, ya know?"

Just as Old Sam finished talking though the large boom of the door being pushed open with excess force sounded and the shiny man walked in. Tom raised his eyebrow as the egotistical paladin waltzed in, made demands at the top of his voice. Tom decided he would ignore the man for the time being. He had no rooms left, with the few available already rented by various adventurers and travellers, and without one of the key's to the door he was going to find it hard to get into a bedroom. And forced to choose between kicking out someone and returning their money to set up the shiny man for free... well it didn't take a main street merchant to know what was the better choice. So Tom turned back to the small woman. "Food and drink coming right up." Said Tom, giving a small tilt of a bow and wandering off into the back to the kitchen to fetch the food. He was sure they had a jug of milk around there somewhere too...

Young Allistair blushed a little as Bluebell focused her attentions on him for the moment and, after casting a quick sidelong glance at Tom as he walked out the back, poured a small half glass of wine for the elven lady. "That's all I can spare and drink it quick please Miss Bluebell. Tom says if I give you any more drinks on the house he's docking the next one off my pay, and you got too fine a taste for my coin-purse, begging your pardons."

The blonde tavern girl smiled at Verdant. "I'll have Tom add it to your tab Mr. Mason." She said sweetly before sauntering off to deliver the rest of her drinks, hips swaying ever so subtly and breasts bulging in their bodice.

[Qwerts]

"Huh... Huh..." Crom said, trying to understand what the old carpenter said, people could almost hear all the gears in Crom's head turn then jam and break, at the exercice.

"Crom no understand what tiny carpenter man say about dis... Dis... ... About broken chair.", he said before giving all the pieces to the man behind the bar as asked, and then turned to the men at the table still laughing at his expense, "Tiny men laughing at Crom?" He growled at them, giving them a dark look, seemingly ready to pounce at them.

[Lessien]

Old Sam patted Crom on the back, well as high as he could reach with his bent frame anyway. "Easy there Boy-oh. They mean no harm. That chair breaks every night and I fix it every morning. They are laughing more at the fact I can't keep it together than at you for being the unfortunate soul who broke it. Even Tom broke it the other day when he leaned against it absentmindedly. Fell arse over end and the boys laughed then too. Don't worry about it."

He tossed a bronze coin to Crom. "Here. For testing out my chair, first drink of the night's on me."

[Chris_B]

A man in a corner table, not too far from a hooded woman, shook his head at the boisterous armored man as he entered. The red-haired man took one last sip of his drink, sliding the empty tankard to the side, along with a few coins for whenever the tavern waitress would be by to pick up the cup. He watched the patrons laugh and cheer and celebrate the holiday, though he himself did not know what the celebration was all about. Still, that did not stop him from enjoying a good pint, especially as there seemed to be no short supply of good-looking women.

Especially the woman sitting at the table next to his. He tried to watch her out of the corner of his eye, curious a to just how much beauty she was hiding under that cowl. But, the man remained at his seat, bow propped up on the wall next to him and pack on the floor at his feet.

[Qwerts]

"Oh. Hmm. Uhhhh... Ok... Then." Crom said, as Sam patted him on the back and explained why the men were laughing.

When Sam gave him money for testing the chair, to buy something to drink, Crom simply gave what seemed to be a thank you nod. "Crom take milk... Or water. Please. Bear make Crom do bad." Crom said, remembering for once, that his mama told him about always say "tank you and please".

[Katt]

Just as Old Sam finished talking though the large boom of the door being pushed open with excess force sounded and the shiny man walked in. Tom raised his eyebrow as the egotistical paladin waltzed in, made demands at the top of his voice. Tom decided he would ignore the man for the time being. He had no rooms left, with the few available already rented by various adventurers and travellers, and without one of the key's to the door he was going to find it hard to get into a bedroom. And forced to choose between kicking out someone and returning their money to set up the shiny man for free... well it didn't take a main street merchant to know what was the better choice. So Tom turned back to the small woman. "Food and drink coming right up." Said Tom, giving a small tilt of a bow and wandering off into the back to the kitchen to fetch the food. He was sure they had a jug of milk around there somewhere too...

"Hmm..." the paladin furrowed his eyebrow at the barkeep ignoring him, his hand now slamming onto the table with an open palm. "Now listen here, barkeep! Surely you would not defy the will of the Lord? THE Lord of the Heavens High Above? If you you have no respect for him, then perhaps you'd rather respect my nobility! For I am Cooper Silverland, traveling paladin and spreader of the one faith! Now you wouldn't want to stop my righteous journey over a petty thing like a few coins would you? Why, how would the uncivilized hill folk around these parts know who to pray to if not for me spreading the good word?"

He then pointed a hand at the blundering barbarian not far from him, "Why just look at this man! This is exactly what I am talking about. Without the Lord's prayers,mothers will have sons that keep being born as stupid and ugly as him! After all, thats why I was born so intelligent and handsome. It was the Lord's blessing." he proclaimed before striking a pose of pure admiration for himself, his armor (and even teeth) giving off a shining vibe of exemplary.

[shadow21viper]

Raven stood outside of the tavern at first. "Well I guess this is the right place." Soon the young man opened the taverns door, hesitantly at first but gain confidence once he saw he was in the right place. If anyone were to take noticed they would see the young man seem to be out of place in more ways than one. His clothing suggest he came from a small village to the east and he looked barely old enough to be in a place like this. One things was pretty obvious, this man was a magic user judging from the staff he was carrying.

Raven stood near the doorway scanning the other patrons in the tavern. The heavily armored man and brute barely wearing a thing stuck out the most. The two shorter women at the bar and the woman sitting in back were next people to note. The young man stood by the front door unsure what exactly to do. This was a new experience for him.

[Silver]

"Of course dear." Verdant said, watching the girl's swaying hips as she walked away. His little trip into paradise was once more ruined sadly, but the loud paladin. "Keep it down Copper boy. This 'ere's supposed to be a festive, and I don't think kicking someone out into the streets is fitting a festive. Now why not let the rest of us enjoy things." He called out. It was his own misfortune that his seat was close enough to the paladin that he head to deal with him. There was just something about him that annoyed him.

He was too much like the heroes in some of the old stories. He could never stand reading about them either.

[Qwerts]

Crom might have been dumb, but not enough to not recognize an insult aimed toward him when he heard one. He quickly passed by Sam and ran to the Paladin. "Who did you call ugly, puny man in metal clothes?!" The huge muscle mass yelled, inches to the paladin's face.

It was to note that Crom didn't react to being called stupid. Either because, he knew about that, or more probably because he didn't knew the meaning of that word. Maybe too much letters. However, one thing was certain, one wrong word, and the paladin would get a knuckle sandwich comming at his face. ... Or perhaps two.